Trust Your Gut Over the Experts: The Advice Trap You Need to Escape
For centuries, the greatest minds in the world believed the Earth was the center of the universe. From ancient astrologers to renowned scholars, everyone agreed: everything—the sun, the stars, the heavens—revolved around us. It was an unshakable truth, passed down for thousands and thousands of years, until 1543, when a quiet astronomer named Copernicus dared to challenge it. In his groundbreaking book, he proclaimed that we revolved around the sun—a radical idea that turned the world upside down. Later, Galileo bolstered his claim, facing fierce persecution from those who clung to the old beliefs. They were ridiculed, dismissed, and even punished, but they trusted their observations, their instincts, over the “experts” of their time. And history proved them right.
I share this story because, as moms of children with special needs, we often find ourselves in a similar trap—placing too much trust in the “experts” and ignoring our own instincts, especially in moments of panic. I learned this the hard way with my daughter, Millie, and it’s a lesson I’ll never forget.
When Millie first came into our lives, her G-tube was a lifeline, but it also brought a flood of advice from doctors, nurses, and specialists. I hung onto their every word, desperate to do right by my little girl. They were the experts, after all—how could I, a new G-tube mom, possibly know better? But one day, something felt off. Millie had been unusually fussy for days, her tiny body tensing with every feed, her cries piercing the quiet of our home. The doctors had told me to stick to a strict feeding schedule—every three hours, no exceptions—to ensure she got enough nutrition. “She needs the calories,” they said, their voices firm, clinical. But every time I fed her on that rigid schedule, she seemed to get worse. Her belly would bloat, her face would scrunch in pain, and she’d spit up half the formula I’d so carefully measured.
I felt trapped, torn between the experts’ advice and a gnawing feeling in my gut that something wasn’t right. I’d lie awake at night, the glow of the baby monitor casting shadows on the ceiling, replaying their words in my head. They’re the professionals, I told myself. I must be doing something wrong. But the more I followed their schedule, the more Millie suffered—and the more my anxiety spiraled. I was terrified I was failing her, that her fragile body couldn’t handle my mistakes. I felt like I was drowning in fear, second-guessing every decision, every instinct.
Then, one evening, as I sat rocking Millie in her nursery, her soft whimpers breaking my heart, I couldn’t ignore it anymore. My gut was screaming at me: She needs a break. She can’t handle this schedule. I wasn’t just Millie’s mom—I was the one who knew her best. I’d spent countless hours watching her every movement, listening to her every sound, feeling her tiny hand grip mine when she was in pain. I had context the doctors didn’t— I lived her daily struggles, her quiet victories, her unique needs. I had to trust myself.
So, I made a decision that felt both terrifying and liberating: I adjusted her feeding schedule. I spaced out her feeds, giving her more time to rest between them, even though it went against the doctors’ orders. I held my breath, waiting to see if I’d made a horrible mistake. But within a day, Millie’s fussiness eased. Her belly didn’t bloat as much, her cries softened, and she started keeping more of her formula down. By the end of the week, she was a different baby—calmer, happier, her little smiles lighting up my world again. I’d been so afraid to trust my instincts, but that small act of courage changed everything for us.
I’m not here to disparage the incredible work our doctors and specialists do—they’re a vital part of our journey, and I’m grateful for their expertise. But I want to give you permission to trust yourself, too. As parents of G-tube kids, we have a deep, intuitive understanding of our children that no one else can match. When that gut feeling tells you something isn’t right—or that there’s a better way for your baby—listen to it. Move forward in faith, knowing you’re doing what’s best for your child. There’s a scripture I hold close to my heart: “There is no fear in love. Perfect love casteth out all fear” (1 John 4:18). I invite you to embrace that truth, to love your baby fiercely and let that love cast out the fear of going against the “experts.” Because when you trust yourself, you’re not just following your gut—you’re giving your child the gift of a mom who knows them better than anyone else. Love casts out fear, and you’ve got all the love your baby needs.